


Snakes and Secret Cameras

by Rowanwood_Greenslow



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Decisions, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, Improper use of ice cream, Jane is too good for Thor, Loki is kind of a stalker, Loki needs more help, M/M, Stark Makes Sex Toys, Stark is a proud father, Thor needs help, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:42:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowanwood_Greenslow/pseuds/Rowanwood_Greenslow
Summary: Thor's childhood friend (read tormenter) comes to live with his family. Although Loki bugs the heck out of Thor, he's oddly alluring, and Thor finds himself wishing that they were more than... whatever they are.
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 73





	1. Thor

As soon as Thor opened the front door, he froze. Before him stood a vision on loveliness. Or the back of one, at least. Thor eyed the girl up and down, his gaze tracing her slim ankles and toned, skinny-jean clad legs. His fingers itched to comb through the black and green hair cascading down her back. 

Just then, his mother poked her head out from the kitchen.

“Welcome home, Thor dear. Your father and I have something we need to talk to you about.” 

“Who’s she?” Thor asked stupidly, and his mom laughed as the stranger pocketed their phone and turned around.

“I see you’ve already run into each other. He is Loki, your new brother.” The stranger- Loki- smirked.

“Good to see you, brother.”

___

“Why the hell is he here?” Thor boomed, slamming his fist down on the kitchen table. 

“Language, dear,” Frigga chided, Odin sitting beside her and silently sipping coffee. “As you know, Loki’s parents are famous research scientists, and they’re studying global warming in Antarctica for the next five years. They asked if we would look after him for the time being, and Loki’s such a sweet boy. Of course, your father couldn’t say no, or he’d be sleeping on the couch for a month.” She stared sternly at Thor. “I expect you to treat him like family.”

“But Mom,” Thor protested, “Loki’s a menace.” She looked at him skeptically. “Remember the snake in my bed? Or the time he dyed my hair pink the night before class pictures in fourth grade?”

“Oh, come now, Thor. It’s been almost eight years. You’ve both grown up. Give him a chance.”

“But-“ Frigga gave Thor the Stare of Motherly Disapproval, and he shrunk back in his chair.

“He’s your childhood friend. He stays. End of story.” Odin fidgeted in his chair, looking highly uncomfortable. Leave it to Thor’s mother to convince his father that letting that trickster, Loki, live with them was a good idea. Thor sagged.

“Fine, Mom,” Thor conceded. “I’ll make an effort.” Frigga smiled.

“That’s my little Thor-bear. We raised you so well, didn’t we, dear.” Odin hummed in agreement, standing and leaving the kitchen. Thor grimaced. If Loki ever heard that nickname, he’d never hear the end of it.

___

Over the next few weeks, Thor found his fears unfounded. Loki was actually being…civil. No reptiles, no hair dye, and only moderate levels of snark. Occasionally, Loki would even study or go on runs with Thor. 

Unfortunately, Thor had another problem. Loki had little regard for personal space… or privacy, for that matter. Thor’s room, the bathroom, the hall closet. Nowhere was safe! Loki would barge in at the most inopportune times, so Thor couldn’t spend any time with his little friend. For example, now.

“Thor,” Loki sing-songed as he slammed the door open. He smirked as Thor hastily hid his lower half with a pillow. “Oops. Did I interrupt something? Do you have a little bit of a problem?” Thor scowled.

“Shut the hell up and get out, Loki!”

“Yikes! Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed.” Loki’s grin grew wider as Thor’s eyes darkened. 

“Stop giving me a hard time and get out!”

“I’m not the one giving you a hard time. And, I’m afraid that I can’t get out. Your mother sent me up here to tell you to get out of bed, or you’ll be late to school. You have ten minutes.”

“Shit!” Thor glanced at the clock and jumped out of bed, forgetting the pillow in his haste. Loki whistled.

“I was mistaken, brother. Your problem is rather big.”

“Get out!”

___

Thor made it to school with five minutes to spare, glaring at Loki, who smirked as Thor took his seat. Steve, his best friend, turned to face him. 

“You alright, Thor?”

“Mrgh,” Thor groaned, folding his arms on the desk and laying his head down. 

“I’m taking that as a ‘Yes, Steve. I’m great. Thanks for asking.’” Steve paused. “No, but seriously. What’s got your goat?” Thor groaned miserably again. “Did Jane break up with you?”

“No. We decided to take a break last May and see if we were still interested in dating after the summer.” Steve furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Then why do you sound like a bear?” Thor picked up his head and looked at Steve.

“Loki.” Steve sighed in exasperation.

“Is that it? What’s so bad about him?”

“He’s a menace.” They glanced across the room at Loki, who smirked and waved when he caught them looking. “He doesn’t knock when he enters a room, just barges in, and I can’t find any private time for self-care. Mjolnir is getting really pent up.”

“Mjolnir?” Steve looked at Thor incredulously. “You named your dick?”

“All mighty weapons must have a name that befits them,” Thor said grandly. Steve sighed and shook his head.

“Thor, you really need to get a girlfriend.”


	2. Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Loki started out as this arrogant jerk, but he morphed into a nervous wreck while I wrote this chapter, so I'm going with that.

“You named your dick?” Thor’s blond friend asked incredulously. Loki scoffed as he watched the two friends from across the classroom. He had been right to talk to Stark the first week of school.

___

Two weeks earlier…

Loki spotted an unkempt brunette as he strode into the robotics lab. ‘Found him.’

“Are you Tony Stark?” The brunette looked up. 

“Who’s asking?”

“Loki Laufeyson. Senior. We have AP Calc together. I’ve come to make a proposition.” Stark stroked his stupid little goatee thoughtfully.

“Continue.”

“There’s someone I need to keep an eye on.”

Twenty minutes later, Loki left the robotics lab with a bag of Stark’s Dong Detectors and a box of prototype sex toys in his hands.

“I want constructive feedback on those!” Stark called from inside the lab.

Thor would never see him coming. 

___

The rest of class passed in a daze. Some guy had transferred into their school. Bucket? Bucky? Loki thought that was it. He didn’t really care, but Thor’s blond friend had seemed excited. 

Loki stood, gathering his things to go to gym class. As he made to leave, a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned to see Natasha, one of the few people whose company he actually enjoyed.

“Loki.”

“Nat.”

“Clint is having a party after the game this Friday, and he told me to invite you.” Loki pondered the invitation for a moment. Clint’s parties were famously rowdy, but Loki didn’t really want to go unless…

“Will Thor be there?”

“The whole football team was invited, so probably.”

“I’ll be there,” Loki replied immediately. Nat smiled.

“Great. The party starts at eight.”

School couldn’t end soon enough; not even AP Bio managed to hold Loki’s attention. He rushed out of the classroom and towards the football field as soon as the bell rang, intent on catching Thor before practice started.

He made it too the door to the locker room just as Thor walked out.

“Um, hello, Loki. Do you need something?” Loki paused. Why did he come, again? Oh, yeah.

“Did you hear about Clint’s party.” Thor nodded. “You coming?” 

“The entire team is coming, like always.”

“Oh. Okay. Great.” Loki turned and walked swiftly towards the bleachers. Once he was sure Thor was no longer looking, he slumped against the side of the stands. Stupid Thor with his stupid, twinkling, blue eyes. Why was he so good looking? Determined to get help, he took off towards the robotics lab. He needed to talk to Stark.

___

“And when he smiles, my brain just stops. Gaaah, he makes me so nervous, so I’m snarky and arrogant to cover it up,” Loki prattled. Stark grunted in feigned understanding, busy tinkering with his newest project. “What do I do, Tonyyyyyyy?”

“Jerk off in the privacy of your bedroom while thinking of the very straight hunk in the next room?” he suggested. Loki pouted.

“I’m already doing that.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say, Loki. You’ve bugged his room in hoped of glimpsing his junk.”

“Which worked, by the way. Multiple times. Thanks for the little robot thingies.” Stark sighed in exasperation and continued.

“I’m not sure what more you can do besides running around your house in lingerie and one of his t-shirts.” Loki hummed thoughtfully.

“I don’t think Aunt Frigga would appreciate that.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“Well, I still don’t think she’d approve.” Stark mentally facepalmed. Loki was hopeless.

“Why don’t you strike at Clint’s upcoming party? Get Thor drunk, then make a move. Even straight guys like blowjobs, and by that time, he’d be too smashed to care that you have a dick.” Loki perked up, smiling.

“Thanks, Tony. You give the best advice.” Stark chose to change the subject in case Loki got any more bad ideas, ignoring the fact that he was the one who gave Loki the idea in the first place.

“So, what did you think of the toys I gave you to try?”

“You know, I really like that pink dildo that has the temperature dial and the little nubbies.”  
___

The week until Clint’s party felt like ages to Loki. To curb his anticipation, Loki filled his days with watching Thor’s football practice from the top stand of the bleachers. There was one time that Thor noticed him, but Loki claimed that he was just doing his homework while waiting for Thor, so they could go home. He was chill, okay? And Thor didn’t notice when Loki snapped a picture of his abs during practice. He hoped.

Finally, the party rolled around. As Loki frantically searched for an outfit to wear (two hours before the party, mind you), Nat sat calmly on his bed, ignoring the calls from Clint requesting her help setting up his party.

“Are you going to get that?” Loki asked as her phone rang for the fifth time.

“Nope. He can set up his own party. You need more help than he does.” Loki shot her the stink eye before holding up two more shirts.

“Should I go with the lacy black one or the gray sequins?” Nat got up, rummaged through his closet, and emerged with black skinny jeans and a dark green cut-off.

“Here. Wear the black boots and snake earrings.” Loki looked at her with watery eyes of appreciation, quickly changing into the proffered clothes. After tying his hair in a messy half-bun and applying some makeup, he was set. Nat regarded him approvingly. “I do good work.” Thor (and Clint’s party, but mainly THOR), get ready for Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stark's Dong Detectors are devices that combine infrared cameras with sound analysis to tell when someone is masturbating. I don't know why these exist. My imagination is an uncontrollable entity.


	3. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains underage drinking. Don't drink illegally. Especially unidentified green stuff.

Thor sat in a corner, nuking a glass of what he thought was spiked Gatorade, if the unnatural green color was anything to go by. Steve had disappeared a while ago to catch up with the transfer student. Turns out, those two were old friends. However, that meant that Thor was left alone with no defense from the rabid girls on the cheerleading squad. Case in point…

“Hey, hot stuff,” crooned a raven-haired girl in a dress so short that it barely qualified as a dress. “Want to have some fun?” She clung to Thor’s free arm. “There’s an empty bedroom where we could-OOF!” The cheerleader stumbled away from Thor and his mysterious rescuer. “What do you think you’re- “

“He’s not interested. Run along now, little doggie.” Thor looked up to see who saved him and almost dropped his cup. Was that…Loki? “Hey, brother. Looked like you needed some help.” Thor nodded, his moth too dry to speak. Those skinny jeans should be illegal. And was that… a navel piercing? Loki noticed him looking. “See something you like?” He was going to be the death of Thor.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Thor grumbled. He needed another drink. Loki followed him to the kitchen. When Thor looked at him questioningly, he smirked. “I’m your bodyguard. Unless you want more girls hanging off you, of course.”

“Fair point.”

___

For the next hour, Loki accompanied Thor. It was like Thor had a second, albeit not very quiet, shadow, but he found himself thankful for the company. And the cheerleader deterrent. (And the eye candy, though Thor wouldn’t admit it on pain of death.) In fact, Thor found himself staying at the party longer than planned, drinking an inadvisable amount of whatever it was in the cooler.

“Thor.” Loki interrupted Thor’s internal musings. “How many of those have you had?” He pointed to Thor’s half-empty cup of green mystery liquid. Thor tried to remember. Three… four…

“Six, I think.” Thank god for his family’s high alcohol tolerance, the reason that Thor was only slightly tipsy. A strange look crossed Loki’s face.

“Why don’t we go somewhere a little quieter.” Little alarm bells rang in Thor’s head, but he ignored them. He wasn’t drunk, and what could Loki possibly do to someone twice his size? Besides, Thor found that he actually wanted to get away from the party, and if that meant following Loki, then so be it. Shrugging, he let Loki lead him upstairs.


	4. Loki

Loki couldn’t believe he was doing this. Why had he listened to Stark? He looked back at Thor, astonished that he hadn’t put up any resistance. Well, it was too late for Loki to chicken out. Nat had already made sure the bedrooms were empty, and he… well, this was a chance that he didn’t want to let slip through his fingers. When else would he get to have his way with the gorgeous football player?

After what felt like an eternity (but was only a few seconds), they reached the room Loki had picked out before saving Thor from that vapid slut who couldn’t afford two more inches of fabric to maintain a little decency.

“Loki?” Thor asked. “Why’re we going in a bedroom?” Loki panicked, his brain going into lizard mode.

“It’s quieter.” Thor thought for a minute and then shrugged, finding logic in Loki’s spur of the moment excuse. Loki’s shoulder’s relaxed and he exhaled heavily.

After shutting the door, muting the blaring music from downstairs, Loki turned around to look at Thor, who sat on the bed. 

“You know, this kind of reminds me of when I walked in on you jerking off earlier this week.” Thor’s eyes narrowed.

“I still haven’t forgiven you for that. Speaking of, how do you manage to interrupt me every time I try to take care of Mjolnir?” It seemed like the alcohol had loosened Thor’s tongue. Loki decided that Thor was too drunk to remember anything that happened tonight; he’d inhaled an insane amount of the vodka-spiked Gatorade, and Loki saw a classmate pass out on the couch after two glasses. Honestly, that Thor was still able to stand was impressive.

“I bugged your room.” Loki said quietly. Thor’s eyes bugged out of his head.

“You what?”

“I asked Stark for something that would tell me when you tried to masturbate, so I could barge in and see you naked.”

“You put cameras in my room?” Loki fidgeted.

“Not exactly, see- “

“I haven’t gotten off in weeks, and you did it on purpose?” Thor fumed, but Loki knew an opening when he heard one.

“I did, and I’m sorry.” Loki murmured huskily, moving closer to the enraged football player. “How can I ever… make it up to you?” He palmed Thor’s crotch, nipping at the shell of his ear, and Thor’s already sizeable bulge grew rapidly as Loki began to kiss his way down the blonde’s neck. 

“What can you…?” Thor moaned when Loki sank to his knees in front of him, mouthing at his clothed cock.

“Let me suck you off, Thor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, smut next chapter!


	5. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically all smut. Don't like, don't read. Smexy times stop after the little line. Note the rating change, please. Thanks.

“Let me suck you off, Thor.”

Okay, so maybe Thor was drunker than he thought. Why else would Loki blowing him sound like such a wonderful idea? Thor’s cock twitched in his pants as he regarded Loki kneeling before him, considering the offer. He was clean, Loki wouldn’t offer if he wasn’t clean, and it seemed only fair that Loki take care of the problem that he had created. Moreover, a free blowjob. Even sober, Thor would have been sorely tempted. Finding no issue with the situation at hand, Thor grunted his approval, spreading his legs to allow Loki more access.

Shuffling forward, Loki gazed up at Thor through hooded eyes, and slowly, torturously, he dragged the zipper of Thor’s pants down with his teeth as his hands caressed the thick muscles of Thor’s thighs.

“Fuuuck…” Encouraged, Loki placed open-mouthed kisses up and down Thor’s clothed cock, which strained against its fabric confines, keeping eye contact all the while. His green eyes glinted when he pulled down the band of Thor’s briefs to free Thor’s massive cock, but when he wrapped his slender fingers around the base, he stopped and looked down.

“God, you look even bigger up close,” Loki breathed in awe before licking one, long, teasing stripe up the underside of Thor’s shaft. Then, to Thor’s immense frustration, Loki did nothing further to his cock and started nipping at his clothed thighs. 

“Enough teasing,” Thor ground out, grabbing a fistful of Loki’s hair and directing him towards his cock. Pleased to comply, Loki laved Thor’s shaft with his tongue, licking, kissing, and sucking to show his appreciation. He eagerly took the head of Thor’s cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it and savoring the musky scent that was uniquely Thor, and he snuck a hand down to free himself. Thor had been right. Loki’s lips looked exquisite stretched around his cock, and that silver tongue was apparently good for more than just snark. Sliding his head forward until Thor’s cock almost hit the back of his throat, Loki sucked, his cheeks hollowing, and bobbed his head. 

“Oh god.” Thor shouldn’t feel this good. This was Loki. Snarky, sexy Loki. But the thought that it was Loki’s mouth that felt this wonderful made Thor’s waning self-control snap, and he bucked his hips up, his cock hitting the back of Loki’s throat. Surprised, Loki gagged, but he managed to relax his throat, allowing Thor to slide even deeper. Fuuuuck… that was hot. Aroused beyond reason, Thor quickened his pace, fucking Loki’s mouth desperately. As Thor reached his peak, his thrusts lost their rhythm and he pulled Loki as far onto his cock as he could. Loki choked slightly as Thor shot jet after jet of come down his throat; when Thor pulled his softening cock out of Loki’s mouth, the raven-haired beauty moaned his displeasure at the loss, pearly droplets of come that he hadn’t managed to swallow dripping down his chin. 

Thor’s spent cock made a valiant effort to rise as he surveyed the obscene picture before him. Loki kneeling before him, panting and come-covered, his green eyes glazed over in ecstasy. Loki’s unzipped skinny jeans soaked through with pre-come. The flushed head of Loki’s cock, long and slender to match the rest of him, peeking above the top of his green lace boyshorts. His navel piercing glinting cheekily through the strands of come on his stomach. The scene filled Thor with an inexplicable feeling of rightness.

And then Loki’s eyes cleared, and he stood up stiffly. After cursorily cleaning come off his face and torso with a wet wipe, he straightened his clothes, ran a cursory hand through his disheveled hair, and walked to the door. 

“See you at home, Thor,” he said brusquely, shutting the door loudly behind him.

___

The first thing Thor did when he got home was find that camera in his room and flush it down the toilet. It sucked to destroy Stark’s invention, but he should have thought of that before giving it to Loki. 

Then, Thor unwisely let himself be sucked into bittersweet reminiscence of the previous hour. It was by no means the best blowjob he had ever received; drunk sex rarely could compare to sober encounters in terms of skill, but Loki was by far the most enthusiastic partner that he ever had. That alone was enough to save the encounter in his spank bank, but Loki’s sensual, sinful mouth and alluring eyes cemented its place in the spank bank’s hall of fame. 

However, Thor couldn’t help but be bothered by the abrupt ending to what was otherwise a wonderful memory. Was it a joke to Loki? Just another way to torment Thor in the weird, sexual way into which his childish teasing of younger ages had evolved? He feared it was. Unwilling to put any more thought into the situation at hand, Thor took the easy way out. He called Jane.

“What is it, Thor? I was asleep.”

“Let’s get back together.”

“You’re drunk. Find me at school tomorrow and we’ll talk.” She hung up, so Thor flopped down on his bed, shut his eyes, and pretended that the green-eyed vixen in his dreams wasn’t Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that my chapters are so short. I had the wonderful idea to switch POVs every chapter and then realized that I was switching characters really frequently.  
> If anyone noticed, I'm updating a lot more frequently than I said I would (due in part to the short chapters), but I will probably not post anything for a few days.


	6. Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Stark have the weirdest friendship, but somehow, it works.

Loki awoke to his phone incessantly blaring the first lines of Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man,” interrupting his gloriously detailed mental motion picture of Thor’s erect cock. Fucking Tony.

“Thanks for waking me up, asshat,” he mumbled into his phone sarcastically, half asleep and voice hoarse.

“Good morning to you, too,” Stark replied cheerfully before his tone morphed into something more serious. “We’ve got a problem. One of my babies went offline last night. I got a notification this morning saying it reappeared in the sewer.” At this, Loki’s brain jumped into overdrive. He had told Thor about bugging his room last night, but Thor had been too drunk to remember anything. Or had he?

“Shit!”

“Yes, that’s the general idea. I wanted to know if you know what could have caused one of my precious Dong Detectors to be in such an unsanitary place.” Loki could feel Stark’s accusing glare through the phone, and he knew that he needed to come clean.

“Soooo… remember how you jokingly told me to blow Thor at Clint’s party? Well, I did, and he was drunk and asked how I knew when to interrupt him, so I told him that I bugged his room. I thought that he wouldn’t remember anything. He had, like, six cups of vodka Gatorade. He should have been wasted,” Loki finished lamely. Stark tutted over the line.

“I’ve been to more parties where Thor was in attendance than you have. His alcohol tolerance is through the roof. It takes more than a few shots of vodka to get him drunk. I guarantee that he remembers everything you did last night.” Loki froze. Everything….

“Fuck!”

“Yes, I’m assuming you did. How was he?”

“Not now. I’m in the middle of planning the last few hours of my life.” Stark sighed heavily over the phone.

“Before you lose your head, has he said anything to you?”

“No, but than doesn’t mean anything. I just woke up, and Thor usually sleeps until much later than I do. He’s probably throttling me in his dreams!” Stark had grown tired of Loki’s theatrics by this time, but at least it wasn’t as bad as it would have been in person. Shocking himself, Stark decided to offer Loki some actual, adult-y advice.

“Talk to him, Loki. Tell him how you feel and clear the air.” 

“I’m done listening to your shitty advice, Tony. That’s what got me here in the first place!” Stark decided then that mentioning that he hadn’t actually meant for Loki to blow Thor and that Loki had brought it upon himself by not nothing his sarcasm wouldn’t help diffuse the situation, so after a cursory ‘See you at school, Loki,’ he hung up.

For the rest of the weekend, Loki avoided Thor like the plague, which wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. Football practice got Thor out of the house all morning on Saturday, and he went somewhere after practice ended. (Loki suspected that he had gone out for lunch with some other members of the football team.) So, Loki didn’t need to actively avoid Thor until late afternoon. Avoiding Thor on Sunday was just as simple, with one single exception: Sunday dinner. Usually, Loki loved having a sit-down meal with Thor’s family, but tonight, sitting next to Thor was torture. 

Loki actively avoided looking at Thor, and all that resembled conversation between the two was a few short exchanges of “please pass the ___________” and “thank you.” Frigga tried her best to foster conversation, bless her heart, but eventually she gave up, and Loki scurried off to hide in his room.

Monday morning, Loki left for school an hour early. Admittedly, this idea severely reduced Loki’s beauty sleep, so Stark found him half an hour later, asleep in the robotics lab. 

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” Stark joked, shocking Loki with his newest invention following an interesting article on E-stim toys. Loki yelped, rubbing his arm.

“What the hell was that for, Tony?” he whined petulantly.

“Oops.” Tony looked half sheepish and half amused while he fiddled with the device. “I guess the voltage is still too high.” If Loki’s eyes could shoot lasers, Stark would have a bald spot right in the middle of his stupid goatee. “I have some good news for you. It looks like Thor doesn’t care about last Friday. He already has another girlfriend.”

“What?”

“It seems like your little stunt at the party was barely a bleep on his radar. He got back together with Jane Foster on Saturday. Banner told me that they met up after football practice.” Loki looked at Stark incredulously.

“How is that good news?” 

“Umm, he doesn’t care? So you’re not going to get punched for having your wicked way with him.”

“Le me put this in terms that you can understand. Imagine an alternate reality in which you actually managed to convince Pepper to have sex with you…”  
“Ouch.” Stark winced, but Loki ignored him and continued.  
“And then the very next day, she got a boyfriend that wasn’t you. Does that sound like good news to you?” Realization slowly dawned on Stark, and he grimaced.

“I see your point. Okay. Thor dating bad. So what are you going to do about it?”

“What am I going to do about it?” Loki paused to think. “Act normal until after school, at which time I’ll go home and hole myself up in my room with a pint of ice cream and your sex toy prototypes.” Stark nodded in approval.

“Sounds good. I’m expecting detailed notes for improvement. This could be a marketing gimmick: Sex Toys to Get Over Your Ill-Advised Crush.”

“You’re a pervert. You know that, right?”

“It’s all in the name of science, my raven-haired guinea pig.”


	7. Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that i took so long to update, but I'm posting this while my hands are covered in capsaicin, so I think that it evens out. (Capsaicin is the stuff that makes peppers burn your tongue.)

Thor felt an odd sense of déjà vu as he slumped in his seat and groaned. It seemed that this frustration was to be a weekly occurrence. He turned to complain to Steve about Loki avoiding him all weekend only to forget his current worries temporarily. Steve looked horrible; he was hiding behind his textbook, flinching every time the door opened, and coupled with the dark circles under his eyes, he reminded Thor of a paranoid raccoon.

“What happened to you?” Steve glanced over at Thor but continued to surveil the room.

“So, remember how Buck and I hung out at Clint’s party?”

“Oh, yes. How could I forget you abandoning me to those feral cheerleaders?” Thor decided that the “so I had to be rescued by Loki, who then gave me the most memorable sexual encounter of my life and then started avoiding me?” that he wanted to add wouldn’t help Steve’s obviously absurd situation.

“Well, we both had a lot to drink, and I blacked out, and when I woke up in the morning, I was in Buck’s bed.”

“So what?”

“Naked.”

“Oh.”

“And I can’t remember anything past my third cup of that green stuff, so I don’t know what happened?”

“Well, that complicates things,” Thor said, thinking of his own drunken party sex with Loki. “Did you talk to him?”

“What am I supposed to say? ‘Oh, hey, Buck. Thanks for breakfast. Did we happen to have raunchy sex last night?’ Are you insane?”

“At least you can pretend that it didn’t happen. I have to live with the image of Loki sucking me off seared into my brain,” Thor retorted reflexively, his mouth dropping as he realized what he had just said. “Shit. I did _not_ mean to say that out loud.” Steve looked at him incredulously.

“Why didn’t I hear about this at football practice?” Thor grimaced.

“Um, because you’re usually Mr. Perfect, and I didn’t want to hear your perfectly logical advice because it meant that I would have to face my problems like an adult.” Steve continued scanning the room as he replied.

“Those don’t sound like your words.”

“They’re not,” Thor grumbled. “I asked Jane if we could get back together, and she gave me a talking to.”

“She’s a smart woman. You should listen to her.”

“Speaking of smart,” Thor started, directing the conversation back to Steve’s problems instead of his own (which he really wanted to ignore for the rest of eternity), “you’re being stupid. Stop avoiding him. Loki’s avoiding me, and it’s annoying the hell out of me. Can’t he just act normal?” Steve grew angry at Thor’s outburst, empathizing with Loki slightly.

“Maybe you should think about how he’s feeling to make him avoid you! Listen to your own damn advice and talk to him when you get home.” As Steve whispered this pointedly, a shadow fell over the two angsty teenagers.

“Steve,” Bucky asked gently, like he was scared that Steve would bolt (which, judging by the panicked expression on Steve’s face, was highly likely). “Can we talk?”

As Steve followed Bucky out of the classroom with all the enthusiasm of a prisoner walking to the gallows, Thor thought back on his lunch with Jane. She and Steve sounded very similar in their arguments, and he couldn’t help but wonder if he needed to grow a pair and listen to them.

“So,” Jane said as she sat down across from Thor. “After almost a month of school, you suddenly decide to call me and say that you want to get back together? Forgive me if I find that hard to believe.”

‘Why wouldn’t I want to date you again?” Thor responded nonchalantly “You’re caring, beautiful-“

“And smart enough to know that decisions made after midnight are never well thought-out. So cut the bullshit and tell me why you called me.” Thor cringed at the directness of Jane’s statement despite the serene tone with which she delivered it. He had forgotten how freakishly astute she could be. Hesitantly, he be opened his mouth.

“So, Clint had a party on Friday.”

“And you got drunk?”

“Umm, no.”

“You realized that you’ve wasted your four years of high school?”

“No.”

“You slept with some intoxicated girl and felt guilty about it?” Thor fidgeted. She was too close for comfort. “Oh my god, you _did._ ”

“No!” he burst out before continuing in a more subdued voice, “I didn’t _sleep_ with anyone. There was definitely no sleeping.” Jane stared at Thor disapprovingly, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Frigga. ‘Oh,’ he thought, having forgotten this particular ability of Jane’s as well, ‘so this was why they didn’t get back together at the beginning of school.’

“So, you took advantage of a drunk girl…,” Jane pondered. “But that doesn’t explain the phone call.”

“Well, that’s not exactly it,” he continued haltingly, pointedly staring at his clasped hands. “I didn’t take advantage of someone, more like the other way around, and it wasn’t a girl…”

“You had sex with Loki?”

“Yes.” He paused. “Wait, what? How did you know?” She sighed, shaking her head at Thor’s obliviousness.

“I’m in some of your classes. He’s been avoiding you, and you get really tense when you see him. It was obvious that something had happened between you two, but I wasn’t sure what. Now, I know,” Jane stated matter-of-factly, and Thor couldn’t believe it. He was that _obvious_? “Yes, you were _that_ obvious.”

Thor sighed yet again. Was sighing contagious?

“Loki blew me in one of the bedrooms at Clint’s party.” Jane sat up, intrigued.

“Was he drunk?”

“I don’t think so. I only saw him drink water.”

“So, you weren’t drunk, and he wasn’t drunk, but you didn’t tell him to stop?”

“I guess not.” Jane gave him a look.

“That’s a yes or no question.”

“No.”

“Then, what’s the problem? You’re not the type of person to freak out because of a little bit of orientation experimentation.”

“He left without saying anything, and now he’s avoiding me, and-”

“You like him,” Jane interrupted gleefully, ignoring him. “You like Loki!” As soon as she said that, Thor realized that she was right. He liked Loki, from the tips of his green and black hair to his maddeningly attractive smirk. But that didn’t solve anything.

“That’s not the point. He doesn’t feel the same way; he left right after, and he’s avoiding me!”

“Did you ever think about why he’s avoiding you?”

“Um, he regrets what we did at the party?” Jane could hardly believe that her ex-beau was this oblivious.

“That’s not it. You need to talk to him.”

“But he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Stop rejecting my perfectly logical advice and face your problems like an adult, Thor. Just talk to him. And maybe do a little thinking until then. Also, you get to pay for lunch because you’re hopeless and wasted fifteen minutes fidgeting like a scolded child.”

Thor snapped out of his reverie when Steve sank into his seat, significantly calmer and smiling dreamily.

“You okay, man?” Although this new Steve was a step up from the paranoid raccoon, Thor found his behavior a bit unnerving. Steve sighed happily.

“Yeah.” He looked over at Bucky, and his smile grew. “I’m great. I’m so glad that I talked things out with Bucky.” The universe was definitely conspiring against Thor today. Maybe, just _maybe_ , he would talk to Loki.

Thor spent the rest of the day mustering up the courage to talk to Loki, and he rushed upstairs as soon as he got home, hoping to get things over with before he could psyche himself out. Suddenly, he heard a weak moan from the direction of Loki’s room.

“ _Thor…”_ Loki sounded weak and breathy, and Thor ran down the hall, worried that he was hurt. But he stopped in his tracks as soon as he opened the door.

“What the hell?”


	8. Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. YAY!

“What the hell?” boomed a voice from the doorway. Loki froze and looked up with wide eyes. He had been so focused that he hadn’t heard Thor open the door…or run down the hallway… or come up the stairs. Oh, why hadn’t he locked the door?

“This isn’t what it looks like, Thor,” he said instinctively.

“How is this not what it looks like?” Loki contemplated this, puzzled. Then, he realized what a sight he made, his flushed cheeks and disheveled hair, and three fingers stretching himself open made all the more obscene by the line of melted sweet cream gelato trailing from the corner of his mouth. And he had just moaned Thor’s name. Maybe Thor had misinterpreted the situation…

“What exactly does this look like?” he chanced, wondering if Thor was oblivious enough to not realize what exactly had been happening before he barged in.

“Like you’re fantasizing about me fucking you while eating ice cream,” Thor replied, glancing at the gelato container precariously perched on the edge of the bed. Well, a man could hope.

“In that case, it’s exactly what it looks like.” Loki realized that he still hadn’t removed his fingers from his ass, and damn it if having Thor watch Loki stretch himself didn’t turn him on more. And judging by the bulge in Thor’s pants, it was turning him on, too. Did Thor…? Emboldened by Thor’s arousal, Loki regained his usual snark. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to continue what I was doing. You’re free to join me if you like.” 

For some reason, a frown appeared on Thor’s face. 

“Why are you doing this to me?” he asked hoarsely. Well, Loki wasn’t expecting that. 

“Doing what?” he replied as he took his fingers out of his ass, no longer in the mood to prolong his embarrassment in an attempt to get Thor to leave.

“Torturing me.”

“How am I torturing you?” Loki asked, genuinely confused. If anyone was being tortured, it was he. Thor ignored him.

“I know that you know that I like you, so please stop giving me mixed signals! First the blowjob, then you ignore me, and now this! Are you trying to drive me insane?” Loki stared dumbly at Thor in shock.

“You like me?” he asked faintly, uncomprehending the three words that slipped out in Thor’s anger. Thor’s eyes widened comically.

“You didn’t know,” he whispered disbelievingly. “You didn’t know? Then why? Why did you do all this?”

“Well, I thought you were drunk,” Loki had no idea when the words coming out of his mouth had stopped going through his brain, “and I had a once in a lifetime chance.”

“A chance to do what?” Loki looked up at Thor with uncharacteristically vulnerable eyes. 

“To pretend that you liked me back. And then Tony – Stark – told me that you weren’t drunk, and I was worried that you were mad at me, so I avoided you.”

“Ma-“ Thor choked on his words in befuddled anger. “Mad? Of course, I was mad! You gave me the most memorable blow job of my life, and then you left.”

“Because you would have remembered what we’d done eventually, or someone would have found us. And you would have hated me. Doesn’t matter anyway. You still ended up hating me.”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said that I like you! Could you at least respond to that? You said, ‘like me back.’ Does that mean what I think it does?” Loki stopped his rant and stared at Thor incredulously. Was he that dense?

“Yes, you idiot. I like you. It’s kind of obvious from the way I was moaning your name earlier.”

“I thought it was another joke.”

“Well, you have a shit sense of humor, then.” Thor winced at Loki’s disapproving tone.

“God, we’re stupid.” Loki hummed in agreement, stretching seductively.

“Yes, we are. But since we’ve cleared up some misunderstandings and realized that our feelings are in fact not unrequited, I suggest we do something that requires a bit less talking. Wouldn’t want my hard work to go to waste, now would we?” Loki stood and crossed his room to wrap his arms around Thor’s neck, pressing his bare erection against Thor’s clothed thigh. “I want you to show me how much you like me,” he whispered huskily in Thor’s ear. A growl, fully animal, escaped Thor’s lips, and he stared down at Loki with dark, lustful eyes.

“You little minx.” Suddenly, he threw Loki over his shoulder and carried him to the bed, allowing Loki a wonderful opportunity to admire his muscles close up. Oh, yes. Football was very good to Thor, Loki thought, groping the blonde’s shapely ass with both hands.

“Oof!”

Thor tossed Loki onto the bed and ground himself against the raven-haired boy, his hands caressing every inch of creamy skin he could reach. Loki moaned at the fiction of denim against his body and bared his neck as Thor bit a line down his throat, kissing each bruise as it formed.

“Condom?” Loki moaned and pointed in the general direction of his bedside table.

“Second drawer, in the green box.” Pausing momentarily, Thor rifled frantically through the drawer and pulled out a handful of plastic squares. Then, he saw the ice cream. Grabbing the spoon, he drizzled the sweet syrup over Loki’s cock and licked a long stripe up its underside. Smirking, he looked up at Loki, who whined uncomfortably at the cold liquid. God, Thor’s smirk was attractive.

“Payback.” Slowly, Thor lapped the sugary cream off of Loki, making sure to tease the head with each pass of his tongue. Precome dribbled from Loki’s slit as his cock jerked helplessly. “You’re delicious,” Thor growled before he sucked Loki as deep as he could, and Loki whimpered. Everything Thor did was so damn sexy he couldn’t stand it.

“Please,” he begged. Thor looked up.

“Please what?”

“Please, Thor. Please fuck me.” Loki threw his head back in a silent scream as Thor quickly thrust one, then a second and third finger into his slick hole. Deciding that Loki had stretched himself adequately, Thor ripped open a condom wrapper, rolled it down his cock, and sheathed himself inside of Loki with one smooth thrust. Loki moaned when Thor managed to hit his prostate on the third try, simultaneously in awe of his skill and jealous that Thor had definitely made his way through all of the cheerleading squad, including the few males, on multiple occasions. Stupid harpies. 

“Mine,” he growled before biting Thor’s neck and leaving a very prominent mark. “You’re mine. Don’t even think about looking at the cheerleaders.” Thor chuckled at Loki’s possessiveness, and he captured Loki’s lips with his own, preventing a retaliatory nip. Loki instead glared at the blonde, which, he admitted, probably wasn’t very effective; one could hardly deliver a proper death glare when their prostate was being mercilessly pounded.

“You’re adorable,” Thor murmured, his amused tone in stark contrast to the punishing thrusts oh his hips.

“Mine,” Loki said again, pouting this time.

“Yes. Yours,” he acquiesced, tenderly placing a kiss on Loki’s bitten lips. The kiss, though at first remarkably chaste, grew heated as Loki’s tongue begged for entrance. Thor slipped a hand between their bodies to grasp the other’s cock, jerking it in time with his thrusts and unwilling to come before Loki. The rhythm of their lovemaking grew unsteady as the two frantically chased their release.

“Ahh.” Loki shook when he came, white ropes of come painting their chests. Thor would have a hell of a time getting that out of his shirt, but in the throes of pleasure, Loki couldn’t find it in himself to care. Moments later, Thor froze, and Loki felt his hot seed fill the condom as his channel clenched around the invading cock. 

Slowly, Thor pulled out, careful to avoid too much stimulation on his oversensitive cock, and he quickly disposed of the condom before pulling Loki into his arms and curling up next to him on the bed.

“Don’t run away this time,” he said quietly, notes of insecurity tinging his words. “Please, Loki.” Smirking, Loki rolled over to face the blonde and kissed him tenderly. 

“I don’t plan to. Not now, not ever.”

___

Ten years later…

Loki sat next to Stark at the bar, watching Thor make a fool of himself as he flailed around, dancing, and a crowd of their friends, led (unsurprisingly) by Clint, egged him on, too tipsy to care that  
Thor dancing should be a felony.

“Look at that,” Stark observed. “He’s actually sloshed.” He whipped out his phone to document the momentous occasion. “How much did he drink?” Loki smirked.

“Six cups of Barton’s fluorescent green stuff.” Stark’s eyebrows made a valiant effort to fly off of his forehead.

“That stuff’s gotten a hell of a lot stronger since we drank it at his parties back in high school.” 

“But he’s not drunk; he just can’t dance.” Stark looked over at Loki smugly.

“Remember when you sucked him off that one time? I’m still taking credit for getting you two together.” Loki scowled and stole Stark’s gin, draining the glass.

“The hell you got us together. You give shit advise. Jane was the one who talked some sense into Thor, so I accredit our relationship to her, sweet cream ice cream and thin walls.” He laughed. “We were idiots then.”

“You’re idiots now.” Loki’s looks still couldn’t kill, but he tried his hardest to shoot holes through Stark before changing the subject.

“So, how’s work? I heard something about a new intern.”

“A college kid, but he looks like he could be in high school. He’s quite eager to please, but he;s been following me and going ‘Mr. Stark’, so sometimes it’s a bit much. Pepper’s a godsend, though. Best girlfriend ever.” 

“Tony, I hate to break it to you,” Loki said with false sympathy, “but Pepper is too good for you. Most guys don’t date someone so she’ll run their company for them.”

“I know, but I’m shit a paperwork and diplomacy and stuff; she’s the only reason I still have a company.”

“Well, you have to up your game if you want to hold on to-“ Loki stopped abruptly when the lights in Stark’s entertainment room dimmed, and stopped his infernal dancing- if it could be called that- to kneel in front of Loki. 

“Loki, for ten years, I’ve loved you. Even through fights and drunken shenanigans, you stayed by my side, supporting me and knocking me off my pedestal when I got to cocky.” A chuckle came from the direction of Bucky and Steve, quickly followed by a ‘shush’ from the same area. “I don’t know how I lived without your sass and that infernal smirk before we got together, and I never want to find out.” Thor reached into his pocket, pulled out a small, black box, and flipped it open to reveal a silver ring with a single emerald embedded in it. “Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”

“Yes!” Loki flung himself at Thor, kissing him with no regard for the crowd surrounding them. “That was so cliched, but yes,” he cried through his tears. “Obviously yes, you idiot.”

“Your idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two more possible stories in this AU. Should I actually write them?


End file.
